Wednesday, 10 April 2013
Saturday, 6 April 2013
IDK
Remember my crush? Yeah, I was trying to get over him when something happened. After I discovered my crush's Facebook account and I found out about he's in a relationship, I was devastated. Then, after a while, he added me in Facebook. At first he was mean to me. But then, I remembered what my friend said, "Guys tend to be mean to their crushes." But I still think that it would be impossible anyway.
Then, he started to have a chat with me in Facebook. And he still being mean to me. Well, I don't mind anyway. When I asked about his girlfriend, he snapped. Like he's mad when I mentioned about his girlfriend. He then asked for my phone number. Feeling bizarre, I asked him why he needs my number. He said that he wanted to text me. And I regretted what I did next. I didn't want to give him my number at the first place.
Later that night, I asked my crush's friend about what happened to my crush and his girlfriend. Well, he said that he didn't know anything and gave me my crush's phone number instead. Now that I have his number, I can feel my blood pumping through my veins, you know? That adrenaline rush kind of stuff. Anyway, I sent a text message to him that night but he didn't text me back. Being an optimist, I assumed that he's already asleep.
On the next morning, I woke up at about 7.30 am. And guess what? I've got 2 missed calls and a text from him saying "Who's this?" And so I told him that I'm Stephanie yada yada yada. We texted each other non-stop. Only God knows how I feel. I feel like I'm in heaven. Then, I asked him what's wrong with him and his girlfriend. He said that his girlfriend had been ignoring his texts for like a month now. He assumed that his girlfriend is cheating on him but he's not quite sure yet. So, I am here, texting him, keeping each other's company.
He started to call me "Sayang" which kind of means "Babe" in English. Makes me blushed every time he said that. But I keep on reminding him that he's still in a relationship, you know? I don't wanna be the third wheel here. We started texting each other from last Friday's morning, just for the record. So, on Saturday's night, when I was about to sleep, he confessed to me that he likes me from the first moment he laid his eyes on me. I was flattered because I had a crush on him at first sight too. So now I do believe in 'love at first sight'.
I asked him, "If you like me, then what now?" He said that he's gonna wait for his girlfriend to text him back and ask her what's wrong with her. He then added if things don't work out between them, then he will ask for a break up and we'll be together he said. If and only if. Well, I do like him but I don't want any break up happened because of me. I feel bad but at the same time I hope that we'll be you know, together. Gosh, I need my friend's opinion here. Is it a good thing that he likes me back? He has a crush on me although he's someone else's. I don't know. I seriously don't know what to do, or what to think.
Then, he started to have a chat with me in Facebook. And he still being mean to me. Well, I don't mind anyway. When I asked about his girlfriend, he snapped. Like he's mad when I mentioned about his girlfriend. He then asked for my phone number. Feeling bizarre, I asked him why he needs my number. He said that he wanted to text me. And I regretted what I did next. I didn't want to give him my number at the first place.
Later that night, I asked my crush's friend about what happened to my crush and his girlfriend. Well, he said that he didn't know anything and gave me my crush's phone number instead. Now that I have his number, I can feel my blood pumping through my veins, you know? That adrenaline rush kind of stuff. Anyway, I sent a text message to him that night but he didn't text me back. Being an optimist, I assumed that he's already asleep.
On the next morning, I woke up at about 7.30 am. And guess what? I've got 2 missed calls and a text from him saying "Who's this?" And so I told him that I'm Stephanie yada yada yada. We texted each other non-stop. Only God knows how I feel. I feel like I'm in heaven. Then, I asked him what's wrong with him and his girlfriend. He said that his girlfriend had been ignoring his texts for like a month now. He assumed that his girlfriend is cheating on him but he's not quite sure yet. So, I am here, texting him, keeping each other's company.
He started to call me "Sayang" which kind of means "Babe" in English. Makes me blushed every time he said that. But I keep on reminding him that he's still in a relationship, you know? I don't wanna be the third wheel here. We started texting each other from last Friday's morning, just for the record. So, on Saturday's night, when I was about to sleep, he confessed to me that he likes me from the first moment he laid his eyes on me. I was flattered because I had a crush on him at first sight too. So now I do believe in 'love at first sight'.
I asked him, "If you like me, then what now?" He said that he's gonna wait for his girlfriend to text him back and ask her what's wrong with her. He then added if things don't work out between them, then he will ask for a break up and we'll be together he said. If and only if. Well, I do like him but I don't want any break up happened because of me. I feel bad but at the same time I hope that we'll be you know, together. Gosh, I need my friend's opinion here. Is it a good thing that he likes me back? He has a crush on me although he's someone else's. I don't know. I seriously don't know what to do, or what to think.
Tuesday, 2 April 2013
Tuesday, 26 March 2013
Who's To Blame?
In early year of 2011, I told you I don't want to study in Science Stream. I failed in every Science subjects' tests including topical tests. I told you I want to study in Art Stream because I know my ability in literature. I know I'm damn good in literature more that science. I told you if I get bad results in SPM, it'll be your fault. I'll blame you entirely. But yet, you just nod without thinking what's best for me. You're too selfish, you know that? You just think about yourself. Hell, you'll leave me drowning to save your ass.
Now I got an A+ in English subject. Bare in mind, I only got an A+ in English. Can't you see? My mind, my passion belongs to the Art Stream and not in Science Stream. I know I can't understand a single shit about science, I'm talking about Biology, Chemistry and Physics. Since I was in primary school, my dream was to be a lecturer majoring in English language. But now that you FORCED me to study science, I HAD to change my dream to a vet. I know it can be hard but I TRIED my my very BEST to succeed in science subjects.
I worked my ass off for SPM to get better grades in all the science subjects but I got both C in Biology and Physics, and D in Chemistry. I always get an F in science subjects but I guess you just don't appreciate my improvement, don't you? But instead, you blamed me, and still is. Why can't you just accept me, mom?
You despise me that much, do you? I feel bad enough now for getting bad results in SPM and yet you still want to make things harder and worse for me.
Should I tell you that after I received my result slip, I was so devastated that I might disappoint you and I was out of my mind? Yes, I was completely out of my mind. I cried and cried that whole day. I know you don't know about this because I know you will say "I told you so" instead of "It's okay, honey." I too had this crazy thought to take my own life. I'm talking about suicide here. I was thinking, should I cut my wrist and bled to death? Or just jump from this building and die instantly?
Knowing that you still blaming me for my bad results makes me miserable, mom. I know you're jealous of your friends' children's results because they got way better results than mine. But you can't compared me to them. I am still your daughter. Your own blood. Why can't you just accept me for my ability? Before I received my result slip, my friend told me that her parents will still loves her, even though she will get a bad result. When I heard her saying that, I feel very upset because I know you won't feel the same as my friend's parents. But, I will try harder next time to satisfy you.
Now I got an A+ in English subject. Bare in mind, I only got an A+ in English. Can't you see? My mind, my passion belongs to the Art Stream and not in Science Stream. I know I can't understand a single shit about science, I'm talking about Biology, Chemistry and Physics. Since I was in primary school, my dream was to be a lecturer majoring in English language. But now that you FORCED me to study science, I HAD to change my dream to a vet. I know it can be hard but I TRIED my my very BEST to succeed in science subjects.
I worked my ass off for SPM to get better grades in all the science subjects but I got both C in Biology and Physics, and D in Chemistry. I always get an F in science subjects but I guess you just don't appreciate my improvement, don't you? But instead, you blamed me, and still is. Why can't you just accept me, mom?
You despise me that much, do you? I feel bad enough now for getting bad results in SPM and yet you still want to make things harder and worse for me.
Should I tell you that after I received my result slip, I was so devastated that I might disappoint you and I was out of my mind? Yes, I was completely out of my mind. I cried and cried that whole day. I know you don't know about this because I know you will say "I told you so" instead of "It's okay, honey." I too had this crazy thought to take my own life. I'm talking about suicide here. I was thinking, should I cut my wrist and bled to death? Or just jump from this building and die instantly?
Knowing that you still blaming me for my bad results makes me miserable, mom. I know you're jealous of your friends' children's results because they got way better results than mine. But you can't compared me to them. I am still your daughter. Your own blood. Why can't you just accept me for my ability? Before I received my result slip, my friend told me that her parents will still loves her, even though she will get a bad result. When I heard her saying that, I feel very upset because I know you won't feel the same as my friend's parents. But, I will try harder next time to satisfy you.
Thursday, 21 March 2013
No More Regrets
This week is a though week for me. Having a driving test and receiving my SPM result slip all at once were huge burdens for me. It was hard for me to sleep at nights. Nightmares about failing my driving test and having a bad result haunted me in my dreams. So, I prayed and prayed each day, hoping I will pass my driving test and have a good result.
It was 20th of March 2013 when I was about to have my driving test. Before the test, a JPJ officer gave us a quick talk about what were we going to face. I gave a smile to one of the JPJ officers, to check out whether I still have the charm :P . Anyway, long story short, I've passed my driving test and I have a driving license in my hands now.
The truth is, I just wanted to tell you all about my SPM result. That is what I scared the most because it kind of determine what will happen to you next. Are you going to a good college? Well, it's all depends on my result. I got a bad result, well, for me it's bad. 3A 3B 2C 1D. I had a huge mental breakdown the minute I saw my result slip because will my result be good enough?
The only A+ I got is my English paper. So, it makes me sad to give up on my dream to be a vet. I love English subject because I always ace it. And now, I want to be an English teacher. :)
I almost forgot. I wanted to tell how miserable I was yesterday. I was really upset that my twisted mind was thinking; "Should I commit suicide? Because with this result, there might be no future for me." Well, now I'm in a right mind and I'm glad that I'm still here. I kind of passed the phase where we can make irrational decisions.
It was 20th of March 2013 when I was about to have my driving test. Before the test, a JPJ officer gave us a quick talk about what were we going to face. I gave a smile to one of the JPJ officers, to check out whether I still have the charm :P . Anyway, long story short, I've passed my driving test and I have a driving license in my hands now.
Driving license.
Kelisa.
The only A+ I got is my English paper. So, it makes me sad to give up on my dream to be a vet. I love English subject because I always ace it. And now, I want to be an English teacher. :)
I almost forgot. I wanted to tell how miserable I was yesterday. I was really upset that my twisted mind was thinking; "Should I commit suicide? Because with this result, there might be no future for me." Well, now I'm in a right mind and I'm glad that I'm still here. I kind of passed the phase where we can make irrational decisions.
Saturday, 16 March 2013
Clothes I Wanna Buy
By SL Shop (5 pieces RM100)
By Mos Fashion
By Mos Fashion
RM27
RM28
RM27
RM29
RM29
RM27
RM29
RM28
RM27
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